You Wouldn't Understand
by Thatdammarauder
Summary: There are certain advantages and jokes about the demigod life, things that the Mortals in Percy's school certainly wouldn't understand. Chapter 7 is up: What came of Perseus Jackson's great coming out of "I Have A Girlfriend" in 2010 and what happened when the said girlfriend met his friends. Disclaimer: Me no own Percy Jackson.
1. Chapter 1

You Wouldn't Understand

**AN: Hi to people who are reading this...probably none, since I'm new and all. This is just basically a long headconon. The idea came to me in Language arts when we were doing idioms, and I guess it just triggered a reaction. I thought it might be funny. So anyways, enjoy!**

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Ch. 1

"The term 'The pen is mightier than the sword' is a very common idiom used for…" Percy and Annabeth watched as their teacher, Mr. Robinson, drone on in their Language arts class, nursing a filled coffee mug that seemed to be very much in need.

"But, sir?" Percy raised his hand, interrupting Mr. Robinson's sentence. "What if there's a pen that can turn into a sword or vise versa?" he smirked, seemingly very proud of himself.

"Mr. Jackson, I do not know where you got that absurd idea, but there is no such thing in all the universe," Mr. Robinson replied in the sort of tone that fit the words, "I know that I am right and you are certainly wrong and you should really shut up now before I give you detention."

The class snickered, awake now. If there's anything entertaining in their class for the entire year, Percy would be it.

"If there is though-"

Mr. Robinson glared at him like he was Artemis when Apollo and Aphrodite had pulled a prank that ended up with them being turned into jackalopes and hunted down. (Let's just say that there was a reason that Artemis became a virgin goddess, and that Aphrodite happened to go against that very reason, and that _that_ pissed Artemis off, real bad.)

"Sir, I assure you, it was just an idea," Annabeth came to her boyfriend's rescue before he became weirder in their classmates' eyes with a glare and a kick in his shins.

But she was too late, because from then on, Percy's motto became, "Nothing is mightier than a pen that can change into a sword."

**Reviews can make my day. *hint hint, nudge nudge***

**This like a "Percy with mortal teachers" thing, so go and read the next few chapters! I promise they're better because this was just a headcannon that I wrote a pretty long time ago without really bothering.**


	2. Chapter 2

You Wouldn't Understand

**AN: Hello mates. On to science we go!**

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Ch. 2

"Lights. Where are the lights?" Ms. Kagy muttered to herself as she came into her classroom the cold chilly Monday, "Oh, it's so cold today."

And it was indeed. The classroom-without its usual lively students and the projects on the walls that she had just stored away-seemed very bleak. The air was cold, causing shivers to run along Ms. Kagy, or better known as Diana's spine as she placed her bag on her desk. Diana was an enthusiastic young teacher with shoulder length blonde hair who was only in her twenties, and often (harshly) considered to be too young to teach high schoolers.

Diana looked through her lesson plans again, her brain flashing with the facts and requirements of the new project that was just added this year, as a guinea pig project. The ways of generating energy with natural resources. There were 4 options that the the students can choose to do a project on: hydro power, biomass energy, solar energy, and wind power. And then one by one, the students started trickling in.

"Hey everyone. So today, I going to introduce you a new project."

Groans filled the room as teenagers looked lethargically up at her.

"But it's nothing to worry about. Really."Diana added, seeing all the raised eyebrows in the room.

"So it's called the energy project, and you are going to research anyone of the 4 types of energy. Hydro power, biomass energy, solar energy, and wind power. And this...is the rubric." Diana said, handing out a gigantic, stapled pile of papers.

The groans got louder.

There was only one student in that class that was not groaning or had an expression filled with barely veiled dread. It was Percy Jackson, that new student who just transferred from Goode high school not so far away. He was, in fact, looking around and smiling energetically at the pile of paper that was just handed out to him. He skimmed through the paper slowly, due to his dyslexia, Diana remembered from what the principle told her. At last, he was finally done, and his hand shot up.

"Percy." Diana mentally scolded herself for letting her surprise show through her voice. Although she did have a reason: Percy was not a very social or the kind of student that was normally energetic about work. So why on Earth was he raising his hand? "Do you have a question?"

"Actually, yeah. So since we can choose which one to do and the due date is like..." He looked down to his paper again, "...3 weeks away, can we hand it in early or maybe add something to it...or something?"

"Oh. Yeah, sure. I mean, absolutely. The more the merrier." Of all the people in the whole class. Percy Jackson was the one who asked that question. Wow.

2 weeks and 3 days later, Diana found a surprisingly early project on her desk. The presentation, however, was even more surprising. Percy had talked for a straight 10 minutes about his chosen project: hydropower with only one index card in his hand. When all the clapping and swooning from the girls were over, Ms. Kagy walked up to him and asked him for his index card, saying, "How did you squeeze all those words onto a one-sided index card? I guess miracles do come true, huh? "

Afterwards, when Diana finally had some time to look at the index card, she was shocked beyond measure to discover that there was only one sentence on the index card. Written in Percy's messy scrawl across the page was: "Thanks dad, I owe you one."

**Hey guys! How was it? I'm really sorry to say that update days are now completely messed up. Um... Sorry?**

**Rachel**


	3. Chapter 3

You Wouldn't Understand

**AN: I forgot to put the disclaimer in my previous chapters, I'm such an idiot sometimes. But I put it in in the summary, and now we're all good. By the way, this is before Percabeth got together (after The Battle of the Labyrinth). Percy is in Xavier high school, and the science and English one is in the same school too.**

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Ch. 3

"So today, we are starting our new unit, and as the nice teacher I am, I'm going to take a poll on the next unit that's related to Social Studies that you might want to do."

The class stared at their Social Studies teacher for a moment, then chaos spread around the classroom like wildfire.

"The Revolutionary War!"

"Economy!"

"Boring nerd."

"Cyborgs?"

"As if people want to learn that."

"The history of books!"

"Is that even a thing?"

"The poll box is right there in front of the SMART board, so if you have something, you can just drop it at the end of the class." Mr. McCartney continued, "Our unit that we're going to start today is the ancient Greek unit, and today, comes religion." He grinned with perhaps what some would call a "cheeky" characteristic, if he had been perhaps 20 years younger. Then he muttered something excitedly to himself and grinned repeatedly at his students as if you knew something that he didn't.

"So...does anybody know anything about the Greek gods?"

The class stared up at him, confusion, curiosity (and of course, boredom) written on their faces, all except for one student, actually. Percy, his special (ADHD and dyslexia) student raised his hand, his signature smirk on his face.

That was...surprising. Normally, Percy would just sit in the back and try to listen until his ADHD kicks in and then he would begin tapping or zoning out or doing anything and everything.

Mr. McCartney scanned the room again. No hands, whatsoever, except Percy and his smirk. The students, one by one, seemed to realize that too. And soon enough, the whole class had turned their attention to the back row, the surprise also evident in their eyes.

Percy, for the first time in forever, knew how Annabeth felt everyday. He was smart, and it felt _good_.

"Percy." Mr. McCartney nodded, urging him to go.

The boy scratched his neck, seemingly out of habit.*"Well, there's the Olympians, you know, like Poseidon, Athena, Hades, Zeus, and Hera." Percy bit his lip, thinking about the great, royal, and intestinally challenged cows-obsessed goddess, hoping the the other gods wouldn't mind the fact that he didn't list them.

Thunder boomed.

Well then, there goes that chance. But Percy had already offended them enough for a lifetime, so this didn't really matter.

"There's the minor gods, of course. The heroes are important, and the monsters, and there's more but..." I don't want to bore you guys with my extremely detailed and unfortunately true description.

"Yes, that's correct. The Olympians were an important part of mythology..." And the lesson began.

Of all the students in the whole grade, Percy was the first one to get all the Olympians' names and titles completely right on the next day. (It turned out that was their pop quiz, the thing Mr. McCartney had been grinning about.) When Mr. McCartney asked him if he had an extra tutor or something like that, he had replied, with that same smirk on the first day, "Yeah. Her name's Annabeth, and she is the most amazing person I've ever met."

*: Percy would always scratch his neck whenever there was a Greek mythology question to answer that Annabeth had asked. When asked why, he had replied, "You'd think I know some stuff about my own family, but when Annabeth asks them, I just get more nervous."after seeing the author's expression of "aww, that's so cute and couple-y", he quickly added, "But that's because, you know, I'm supposed to know my own family well."

**Isn't it sweet? Percy thinks Annabeth is amazing! And you know the deal: reviews make a very happy Rachel.**


	4. Chapter 4

You Wouldn't Understand

**AN: Where now? To P.E we go! Please leave suggestions for the next subject: math.**

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Ch.4

Mr. Lebasco was having a generally bad day.

Mr. Lebasco, or Jack, had not been prepared to have an arm cast for 2 months when he tripped on a chair leg, bumped his head on the steel desk next to him, and hit his arm pretty badly on the table too. It didn't help that also, in a moment of panic, he had used the same arm that was already injured to try to support himself up while he was hitting the floor. A broken arm was not pleasant to live with, and even less so to shower in.

Usually, he was an easy going guy. As a P.E teacher with a life science minor, he also substituted for the science teacher who looked older than the skeleton in her room named Albert (he always felt the need to clarify that Albert was the skeleton, not the teacher). Although the student teacher named Diana seems to qualify for the job more than the old Mrs. Ruskenburg, Jack didn't say anything yet to the Board of Education.

There was one more class to go before he can go home to his wife and kids. His family always made him feel better. Fortunately for him, there was a new unit in P.E that day that would definitely cheer Jack up. He just didn't know it yet.

"Hey you bunch of p-I mean, Hey everyone." A girl waved to Mr. Lebasco's students as she walked across the room, "Today, there was a unit change in your school, so now I'm going to teach you self defense." She muttered something under her breath.

Mr. Lebasco, standing next to the girl heard something like "Those punks want self defense and they don't even allow weapons in school. What kind of stupid rule is that? Gotta go teach Prissy's school a lesson."

A student raised his hand, one of Jack's favorite students (a jock who was in the basketball team). The girl nodded at him, and he figited a while before getting out a rather pathetic "What's your name?" He seemed to be the only one who had enough courage after seeing the girl's "you offend me, I rearrange your face" expression to say anything.

The girl swished her messy red-ish brown hair up with her bandana, tilting her chin up proudly, "Clarisse LaRue. Now you punks get into a straight line and watch." Jack noticed that she dropped the nice act and the word "punks" came out this time.

She stomped her leather military boots towards the middle of the gym and yelled, "Prissy! Get your butt over here!"

There were a few moments of silence as the class debated whether to tell the girl-Clarisse, that there was, in fact, no one in their school named Prissy. (Because if there was, gossip travels fast in Xavier high.) But they respected her enough not to. Jack knew though, the word was not "respect", it was "fear". Even the jock who had spoken before was looking at his Nikes, as if finally realizing how interesting the swirling green and black pattern was.

Then all of a sudden, Percy Jackson, the captain of the swim team, Jack realized, was walking towards Clarisse, a lopsided grin on his face.

"Hey Clarisse. " He held out a hand for her to shake.

When Clarisse didn't accept it for a microsecond, Percy's eyes darted towards the student body.

"'Hey' yourself, Fish Brain." she nodded at him and grudgingly flopped his hands in a mere imitation of a hand shake.

"So...Omega number...32?"

"Omega number 31. Idiot."

They stared at each other for a moment, and then started the demonstration.

To Jack, it was the most brilliant fight he has ever watched in his life. As a young boy, Jack had always liked wrestling, but he had decided that football was much better in his high school years and went to be a P.E teacher instead. The fight lasted for about 3 minutes, with kicks, punches, rolls, blocks, and even complicated jumps. At the end, both of them decided that their moment was over and just sprang apart as if the other got the flu or something.

Clarisse grinned a little and held her hand for Percy to shake this time, and Percy, saying, "Annabeth would be so proud", shook her hand, clapped her on the back and strolled towards the end of the line as if nothing had happened.

There was a thunderous applause, like what you would expect after a demonstration like that. Clarisse grinned proudly and stood there, reaching for something in her belt. Then finding nothing, her smile changed into a scowl, and she began tapping her boots impatiently.

"So? Line up already!"

The students did, scuffling around.

Clarisse looked bored. "So, first, is your fighting stance. You need to stand with your legs apart but not too apart and arms ready to strike..."

It was probably around that time that Percy Jackson was classified into the "weird" group of Xavier high. The time students whispered rumors about him being the heir of Nauru, or maybe being in an international spy organization. It gave them something new to talk about. The time the teachers paid closer attention to him during class, if there's anything that he did that was strange that gave them a clue in what sort of person he really is.

That was when the "Mystery of Percy Jackson" started.

**In case you were wondering, the science teacher there mentioned was the old one before Diana got the job. If you don't know who Diana is, go back to Ch.2. Review please! If you have any suggestions on what to do for the next chapter or a prompt or something, I'm open.**


	5. Chapter 5

IMPORTANT NOTICE

THIS IS NOT A CHAPTER, so sorry guys.

Thank you (this is my long list of my first reviewers and followers, so if you're easily bored like most people are by long lists, you can skip this and just know that I'm thankful to all my readers, followers and reviewers. Thank you guys!)

Thanks to: paperpotter as the first reviewer, We're All Okay, Guest, Guest, Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Guest, PercyJacksontheChicken, Kage Nightray, AncientTide, and PixelArtyGirl1 for being my first ten supporters for this story (and on Fanfiction now that I think about it). So thanks so much for the support that caused me to continue the story have an "idiotic smile" on my face for a whole day.

For the first ten followers. Abhro was my first follower ever on my first story (this one), originally called Pens or Swords. And the following peeps are my followers (yay!) in time order: PixelArtyGirl1, Imightjustwishiwasaweasley (me too dude *high fives*), paperpotter, Amethystgirly, Son of The Herobrine, Thalia-Saran, Fire no.24, crazydasiy-in-tha-house, and ElectroSix.

Now, for the apologies.

I'm sorry that I didn't do this before. Can I use the fact that I'm new as an excuse? Not really.

I'm also sorry that my update dates are irregular. I have a lot of work to do so I'm trying to write as much as I can right now.

**11-29-2015 edit:**

**Right so, I think this might actually be continued, even though I said before that ch. 4 might have been the last chapter. Just a warning though, don't expect regular updates.**

**What do you guys think?**


	6. Chapter 6

You Wouldn't Understand

**AN: Woohoo! I'm FINALLY back!**

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Ch. 6

Quite surprisingly, the Xavier high school did not have as good as an education in math as they claimed to have. (It was a private school, I mean, come on!)

But that was normal; every high school has the same wonderful reputation and crappy whatever it was that was the excuse for the fact that the students are so bad at a lot of subjects. During the years of the private prestigious high school, student defenses included teachers, subsitutes, poor, starving families and relatives, lack of money for tutors (which was especially offending to the algebra teacher, Mrs. Carminger), squirrels, the whole nine yards. (What? Squirrels are very distracting, especially during algebraic expressions homework!)

The special part about Xavier was that because Mrs. Carminger is pregnant for most halves of their years on on maternity leave for the other half, substitutes were frequented and math was treated like a joke. Well, more like jokes than usual.

So, the basic outline of every class goes like this:

Teacher/permanent sub: Ok, so today we're learning about the _

Students: whispers and yells and throws some stuff

T/PS: the formula is _

Students: whispers and yells and throws some stuff

So, as expected, the finals went fabulously! No, the finals sucked like Mean Girls 2. If you hadn't heard it before, then great! That's how much it sucked.

The principal has recently delayed the whole year math lessons for to go over everything from the 6th grade level. We didn't make that much of a progress yet; today was circles.

"So," Mrs. Carminger paced around the room towards the board in her new maternity dress (I'm a girl, girls notice things like that). "We are reviewing circles today, anybody wants to take a guess on the formula?"

Silence.

Mrs. Carminger nodded, long used to this sort of treatment by then,"the formula of the area of a circle is π r squared." Pace, pace pace. Why was the room so freaking hot? The school has to get some new ACs. Speaking of, how much did they raise for the bake sale yesterday?

"One of the main contributors to the formula and invention of the circle is…?"

And then the craziest thing since "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus happened: someone raised his hand.

At first we didn't notice,not really. Mrs. Carminger kept pacing, people kept snoring, and I kept trying to doze off with unfortunately no success. And then the Mystery-Hand-Person (who I was half convinced that was a boy) shook his hand in the air and caused nearly the most dangerous faculty accident since 1997, the Monkey High (involving monkeys from a circus high on bottles of gummy bears, a poor teacher, and chandeliers).

Mrs. Carminger nearly tripped over herself as she asked, "Mr. Jackson?" Then, she steadied herself on her desk and shattered one of her "Best Teacher" mugs. I wonder where she gets those, most people here hardly knows her name.

"Wasn't it Archimedes?" Mr. Jackson looked extremely proud of himself. He didn't look like the typical type of person to be smart. He was cute, in a wind-blown, surfer sort of way; black messy hair, and eyes like the sea, not blue but a green, pretty color, like emeralds.

"Yes, Archimedes was one of the most important people who contributed. Thank you Mr. Jackson."

Mr. Jackson grinned so smugly that it looked like his mouth was crookedly place on the right side of his face.

And Mrs. Carminger went on, and no one ever raised their hand again for the rest of the day.

What can I say? The most important thing that happened all day was a relatively cute boy raising his hand in class. We're a bunch of pathetic high schoolers.

As the class went out, I went to him and asked why he raised his hand.

He shrugged at me, "It feels good to finally be smart."


	7. Chapter 7

You Wouldn't Understand

**Ch. 7**

**AN: Over 1000 words! Yayyyy**

"You meant it?"

"Of course I did, Zoey."

"You said she's hot?"

"Um, yeah. But-bro, Jack, bro, that's my girlfriend."

"But she's hot?"

"My girlfriend! Mine."

"You idiots are like a bunch of dogs barking over a freaking bone. And Jack, you don't even know what that bone looks like."

"She's _hot_! That's what she looks like!"

"Dude! She's my girlfriend!"

And that was what came of Perseus Jackson's great coming out of "I Have A Girlfriend" in 2010. His friends have suspected it, of course. To turn down the objectively (in Zoey's opinion, and Zoey is always objective. And yes she was aware that that statement was very paradoxical and she was a second away from screaming "Jack don't you dare ask what "paradoxical" means", but yes: paradoxical yet true.) hottest girl and nicest in school, he either has a girlfriend or is very, very rainbowly.

Rainbowly with unicorns floating in his general personality.

Gay.

The latter seems rather unlikely, so girlfriend it was. The rest of the crew (who were they kidding it was just Zoey and Jack and Percy) were very excited yet justifiably afraid of who "The Girlfriend" was, however. For Percy to worship her and speak of her like his best friend ("Jack stop clearing your throat we know you're there"), there must be something special.

And to Zoey, whose dyslexia was top notch to the point that it was frustratingly comforting whenever letters were twisted up like a pretzel, "special" was definitely not a good word.

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It was a swim meet. It was the first swim meet the crew has ever been in, actually. Between Zoey's peculiar new allergy to chlorine ("We went to the pool last year? Well, erm, yeah, my allergy is new. Very, veeerrryyy much new.") and Jack's general avoidance with swimming ("What? Coach scares the crap out of me. Erm I mean, swimming is not a very manly sport, Perce, and I am manly, so therefore I don't swim, or go to swim meets, or do anything related to Coach."), they had never been able to come to any of Percy's swim meets.

But this was apparently "a special occasion" and they were invited to come.

After all, nobody could say no to Percy's puppy eyes, not even his friends.

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Jack was bored.

He has had enough of watching Zoey bury her head deeper and deeper into her new book, What'sitsface, and was now painting invisible patterns with his fingertips on the plastic bench.

The bench was very uncomfortable, but Jack took momentary pride in the fact that the invisible pattern turned out pretty great.

And then, all of a sudden, a streak of blonde hair burst in from the door, accompanied by a loud thump of metal.

When the blonde hair slowed down enough for Jack to see, he tried not to let his jaw drop to the floor (he did, he really did), but his jaws seemed quite stubborn that day, and the blonde was hot.

It was when she walked towards them, however, when Jack began to be suspicious. Out of everyone in that building, a hot blonde was walking towards two middle/lower peasants of the high school hierarchy. She could have been carrying a message for coach, or even one of the swimmer's girlfriends, but…

Jack saw the exact moment Zoey worked it out. That look on her face, along with the sudden connection of the word "hot", and the fact that Percy mentioned his girlfriend was blonde took shape of a theory in his brain.

And he realized, _oh that's why Percy rejected every single girl who asked him out._

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"Hey, Jack and Zoey, right?"

Zoey could tell the immediate moment the girl sat down next to her who she was.

Unlike Jack, whom she could tell was spacing out when Percy was describing his girlfriend, Zoey had been listening.

She was blonde with grey eyes, a little shorter than Percy, and was really, really smart. And yep, this was her.

"Yeah," she answered for Jack who was staring jaw-slacked at what seemed to be a piece of blonde hair, "Percy's girlfriend?"

"I'm Annabeth. How did you know? Percy talked about me?"

"Or course he did," she held out her hand, "Zoey, though I'm guessing he talked about me, too."

"Yep, he did," Annabeth looked at Jack, who still didn't talk yet, and Zoey kicked him in the shins.

"Hey, I'm Jack," he managed without much stupidity, "It's nice to finally meet you. I thought Perce was gay at first." Scratch what she thought before about stupidity.

Luckily, Annabeth just laughed, "I can get why you'd think that."

"Really? Gimme the details."

Annabeth laughed again, "Sorry, Jackie, I don't fall for those sorts of things… However, if I get, I don't know, 10 bucks for the last of my architecture book fees, I may be able to overlook that."

And they've already been hooked. Jack, of course, because she was hot, and bribing is one of his top rated attractive characteristics in a girl. And Zoey because, well, architecture books…!

* * *

By the time Percy came onto the crude, plastic benches (that Jack didn't seem to care about anymore), dripping with the smell of chlorine on his body (Zoey was surprisingly okay about that, considering her allergy), the group was already talking like old friends.

Annabeth and Zoey were in an intense debate about some type of window style that Percy didn't care enough to ask about, and Jack, whom Percy had never seen a sliver of sophisticated intellect in, was chiming in with arguments to back up Zoey's side.

He liked art, who knew?

Then he just grinned and sat down next to them, not wanting to interrupt.

And he wondered what would happen when he introduced Jack and Zoey to the Seven. Maybe he can smuggle Nico and Thalia in, too. But of course, if the monsters sense them, then there would be a pretty big problem.


End file.
